What If, There is One Common Value All Teen Girls Can Learn to Manage on Social Media?

What If, There is One Common Value All Teen Girls Can Learn to Manage on Social Media?

The sink shot: When a girl takes a selfie in a bathroom mirror, often in a thong, and poses with her behind propped against the sink, so that it will appear larger. Not surprisingly, Kim Kardashian popularized this sort of shot, also known as a “belfie,” or butt selfie.  

Nancy Jo Sales; “American Girls: Social Media and the Secret Lives of Teenagers”

Researching and writing about today’s teen girls with social media problems is multi-faceted and complicated. What teen girl has enough adult experience to write about her trials and resolutions based on an incomplete timeline? As a retired teacher with full view, I wrote an e-book called Teen Girl Faces Time in the Sand to emphasize the one common value all teen girls share whether they know it or not.  

Here is one critical viewpoint from a reader I'd like to address:

“This is a rather mild-mannered story like Clark Kent talking about a Superwoman challenge. As a parent, I wish I had more answers about my teens online. I live in a small town where there are  too many young girls who party too much with alcohol and drugs. What about the vaping or opioid addiction found in high schools? How can parents identify drug use or open up communication? This is a different story than expected but a timeline on  a string is interesting, if it could be that simple.  Amy D

Here is my response:

Thanks, Amy, for taking time to read this teen e-book. I’m pleased you found that managing a Timeline is interesting because how to respect Time is the message of this short story that ALL teen girls can relate to. The Big Question is to how to apply it in simple terms. 

The difficult challenge in writing about so many different shattered dreams in a new social order, is to find at least this one common thread that every girl can value and that is TIME itself. Not in the sense of measuring by numbers, hours or days, but in managing the experiences that make a difference between the numbers. Every girl wants a good time leading to better times and success; nobody wants to look for having a bad time with worse consequences.

"But time is only the medium not the victim here. It is a 14 year old girl who can become a victim because she can make a mistake that will affect her whole life. How fair is that? Is it her fault or is it the selfish culture around her? There must be a way to stop making the wrong choice at a young age." 

Excerpt: Teen Girl Faces Time in the Sand Timely Tale of Struggles, Regrets and Survival on Social Media.

The biggest challenge still remains, in no uncertain terms, how do you deal with this unfiltered, unsupervised, unprecedented  virtual suspension of normal social rites for teen girls entering into adulthood with too many tragic results. Too many stories from news and personal experiences are written about cyber bullying, suicides, sexual texting and harassment, unwanted pregnancies and family breakdowns, drug addictions and other personal disasters.

It’s impossible not to compare my youth growing up in the 1960’s where our social order was planted with family and focused on education toward a responsible career. At 14 I knew I was a somebody who best spend my time respecting set boundaries with friends and role models who lived close by and mutually liked each other. My biggest problem was what skirt to wear to the high school prom and this small zit private only to my mirror. The first time I heard of something weird called intercourse was at 18 years in a grade 10 PE class by a counselor.

Today, we watch in shock as so many 14 year old girls preen, post  and prime for role models to be a somebody on a social media scale to be measured, evaluated and objectified by popular adult standards, unattainable except to the sensitive teenage brain fueled by dopamine likes and shares where a relationship can be started by sending a nude photo.

Just think, of a traditional story with a simple picture of a young girl facing a greedy wolf ready to devour her innocence of youth. One heroine with one antagonist can be dealt with common sensibility.

As one picture in this story, there is an adolescent damselfly nymph feeding from a giant media clown face in her maturation cycle.  Just think, this adult will perpetuate what it grew up on and it begs the question about what kind of collective wisdom will populate our social culture drawn from this effluence. Note that a damselfly plays the role of the fragility and impermanence of  life.

As a new reality with social media, a young teenage girl needs to find her true self  on a vast technological landscape which itself becomes the monster antagonist ... not one villain but so many controlling forces imposing their pressure to be a somebody according to mass media standards. In many ways, this is an untenable and virulent attack on the developing adolescent brain which works differently than adult brains because it is guided more by “random exploration” and by the emotional and reactive amygdala than the thoughtful, logical  frontal cortex. The average adults’ judgement rationale to make decisions is reached in the mid-twenties.  

So how do you tell a story about innocence, curiosity and growing up in a rampaging, engulfing media circus where teen age girls also admit that there is a love / hate relationship with social media but do not want to stop because their lives would be empty. How do you prepare or protect yourself from this tragic onslaught with far implications for our culture where coming-of-age women are finding maturity from superimposed hype, failed expectations and ego-driven  materialism?. What are the long-term consequences on family and society? Could it possibly get worse? 

The mission statement becomes If time can’t be replayed and only go forward, then the most precious commodity we have is Time and how to use it to its best value becomes essential. 

Therefore, it is necessary to turn this story into a heart-rending analogy by using the power of symbols which connect to several layers of meaning both visible and invisible. One symbolic protagonist is an immature adolescent brain facing a symbolic antagonist of epic proportion known as the social media clown face. 

More symbols are introduced to encompass the meaning of Time beyond the literal meaning of counting hours or days. Yesterday’s past experiences are put in a box, today’s present moments are alive in a circle and future visions are open ended lines. The moment of choice is seen as a spark on today’s circle as different from a decision or habit.  The whole set is linked together with a personal super power tool to help make good choices relevant to past, present and future.

This e-book is short enough to read in a few hours with simple drawings to highlight events including the new image of a Selfie Celtie. The story happens in 3 days from a drug testing to recollections on a beach  to an adolescent brain mixing it up with a social media nightmare, and a grandmother’s kindly introduction to  a personal super power tool to manage the precious Timeline. The short account has a pivot point where life can turn around with the right message.

So, how would you answer this important question: How can we help with adult overview to help teenage girls to find their true selves minus social media impositions?

Questions and comments are always welcome...together we can find solutions in this radically different digital culture. 

Annemarie Berukoff

amarie10@gmail.com

833 471 4661 

https://helpfulmindstreamforchanges.com

Grannie asks: "Let me ask you another important question, somewhat based on this messy life spectacle. You understand that the future only appears as a vision and today is the only time you have to react to anything. What if you had the power to connect to the future to help direct your present actions to fulfill that future?  I wonder what kind of choices you'd make ... would they be the same?

"There's a strange magic begins to happen when you know that TIME controls a CHOICE and a HABIT, but HABIT is NOT THE SAME THING AS A CHOICE.  A choice can happen in an instant. A habit will follow you as heavy and long as you want.

But this choice is instant, like a match flame. Ignite a wrong choice; it can lead to bad habits … even burn out your foundation who you want to be. Or you can make the right choice which becomes a stepping stone towards better habits and future. 

As brief as it might be, it is the matter of choice that makes it a superpower because it has the power to change the direction of your life.  Nothing is more powerful with more consequences; so it’s a good thing to make it as smart as possible. I think we agree on making a strong, smart choice."

Excerpts from Teen Girl Faces Time in the Sand: Timely Tale of Struggles, Regrets and Survival on Social Media.

NOTE: There are 10 lesson plans to use this content at an individual understanding.

PS:   I am always looking for a PODCAST interview to further explain this story. 

https://youtu.be/fnEztJKfzdQ